Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Thyme
by Tanicus Caesareth
Summary: Storm Spirit was just minding his own business, when suddenly, he happens upon Axe... Singing? One-shot. Inspired by the song "Scarborough Fair." May or may not contain some shipping action. If this offends you, please turn back now.


I was listening to "Scarborough Fair" by Simon and Garfunkel whilst drawing a picture of Axe when I got the idea to write this. It ended up a lot longer than I thought it would be, sorry. Enjoy anyway!

* * *

Storm Spirit was delightedly skipping through the jungle without a care on his heart, being his usual jolly self, when he suddenly heard light, delicate plucking on a lute and a light, delicate voice singing voice to match. Cautiously, he poked his head around a tree and peered into the empty neutral camp where the noise had been coming from. A slight grin curled up his rotund face, a blush growing across the bridge of his nose to his plump cheeks. He lifted up the brim of his wide straw hat as if to assure himself that what he was seeing indeed real. Before his eyes was Axe, a seemingly brash, murderous individual, now sitting cross-legged on the damp forest floor gently plucking on a lute and singing in the sweetest, most serene tone one could possibly imagine.

"Are you going to Scarborough fair…" he sang, his eyes closed and his face muscles relaxed. His voice was like the smooth, trickling water of a stream, as opposed to his usual tone which was more on par with a harsh waterfall. "Parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme… Remember me to one who lives there…"

Storm Spirit decided that it was rather rude to stand there and watch his companion in secret, so he stepped into the clearing with his hands neatly folded behind his back. "My, what a beautiful singing voice you have, Axe!" he said in a sing-song tone.

Axe's eyes shot wide open, his once calm and relaxed facial expression now hardened into one of surprise. If his skin weren't already red, he would've had a large blush quickly spreading across his face in embarrassment. "Axe does not know what you are talking about! Axe does not sing!" he said in protest, perhaps a little too quickly.

"Axe, it's ok, I was here the whole time," Storm Spirit said in a reassuring tone, before realizing that he had just basically admitted that he was spying on Axe. "I mean, not the whole time, I was just about to do some jungling and, I- uh, I heard you singing and playing the lute and, uh, I just wanted to, er, see who it was. Make sure that I wasn't in any danger, you know…"

Axe's expression now shifted to one of annoyance and irritation. "Do not sneak up on Axe like that!" he said, furrowing his brow. "Axe could have chopped you in half with his trusty axe!" he flipped his lute around and held it as if it were a weapon, swinging it through the air to demonstrate.

"I'm sorry, Axe, I didn't mean to, honest!" Storm Spirit said nervously and hurriedly, throwing his hands in the air in surrender. He slowly backed out of the clearing. "I'll leave you be, pardon my interruption…"

"**NO!**" Axe said, slamming one of his giant hands on the ground, kicking up the dirt and leaves. Storm Spirit froze in place, too terrified to move or speak. "Sit here next to Axe, if you wish to hear his singing!" he said as he lay the lute across his lap, crossed his arms, and pointed at a spot on the ground beside him. Storm Spirit calmly nodded and began to step forward, now feeling much less afraid of his comrade. "Wait!" Axe shouted. "Let Axe make this spot more comfortable!" he said as he scooped some of the leaves together to make a makeshift seat. Storm Spirit bowed respectfully and sat down next to Axe.

"So, you enjoy Axe's singing, yes?" Axe said timidly, pressing his fingers together. Storm Spirit nodded, not saying a word. "Good! Then Axe shall sing for you! But only you. Do not tell anyone else that Axe sings. Axe does not want them to be jealous." Storm Spirit giggled childishly and nodded again.

"Your secret's safe with me, Axe."

"AXE DEMANDS THAT YOU PINKY PROMISE!" Axe shouted as he held out his pinky finger in offering.

"I pinky promise," Storm Spirit said softly, barely managing to wrap his finger around Axe's.

"Good! NOW Axe shall play for you! What does Storm Spirit wish to hear?"

"What you were playing before was fine."

"Ah! Scarborough fair! Axe declares that this is an excellent choice! It is one of Axe's personal favorites! It is also the only song that Axe knows how to play!"

"Very well, play on, dear Axe," Storm Spirit said with a hearty chuckle.

Axe took up his lute, cleared his throat, and began to play. He shut his eyes and relaxed his face muscles once more as the soft, calming tone of the words overtook him. "Are you going to Scarborough fair… Parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme… Remember me to one who lives there…" Storm Spitit closed his eyes too, and as Axe's smooth tone relaxed further and further, he gently rested his head against Axe's massive shoulder. Axe peeked one eye out to take a look, and he smiled gently. He then continued."He once was a true love of mine… Tell him to make me a cambric shirt…"

"On the side of a hill in the deep forest green…" Storm Spirit sang along instinctively, not even noticing that Axe had slightly changed the words…

"Parsely, sage, rosemary and thyme…"

"Tracing a sparrow on snow-crested ground…"

"Without no seams nor needlework…"

"Blankets and bedclothes a child of the mountains…"

"Then he'll be a true love of mine."

"Sleeps unaware of the clarion… call?" Storm Spirit sang along before slowing down and finally realizing that Axe had been genderbending the pronouns the whole time

Axe stopped playing and looked over at Storm Spirit suspiciously. "Is something wrong, Storm Spirit? Does Axe's musical talent not please you?"

"No, it's not that, it's just… Why do you keep changing the words 'she' and 'her' to 'he' and 'him?'" Storm Spirit asked, now looking up at Axe, his head still rested on Axe's shoulder.

"Axe does not know what you are talking about," Axe replied blankly, looking off into the distance. He put the lute down and began to twist the strands of his sideburns into little loops around his finger.

"No, it's ok Axe, you can tell me if you'd like," Storm Spirit said reassuringly. He was quite curious of Axe's intentions at this point.

"Well, Storm Spirit, Axe believes that this song is about a soldier who lies dying on the battlefield, surrounded by his allies, even though there is nothing left that they can do. He looks into their eyes and asks if they are going to Scarborough Fair, and asks them to pass on a message to his true love. Even as he dies, he cannot stop thinking about the one who rejected him and broke his heart. It is quite sad," Axe said with a blank expression, his eyes still looking into the distance. Storm Spirit was intrigued by his words, eager to know of their meaning.

"But what does all of this mean?" Storm Spirit asked.

"Axe sees himself as the soldier, because Axe is a soldier as well. Axe will die one day, just like everyone else, no matter how impossible it may sound. Axe knows that his true love does not feel the same way, and this makes Axe feel very sad. However, they will always be on his mind, even in death," Axe said in a somewhat somber tone as he wiped a tear from his eye.

"Oh," Storm Spirit said quietly. He had never known how deep and melancholy Axe could be. There was a brief pause. "Who is your true love, Axe?" he asked, breaking the silence.

"Axe cannot tell you. Axe knows that he will be rejected."

"…"

"…Axe just admitted it, didn't he?"

"Yes, yes he did. But you do not have to worry about being rejected, my dear Axe. I can now finally say that I feel the very same way about you," Storm Spirit said, looking up at Axe with his usual cheeky smile.

Axe cracked a smile too. he flung his arms wide and embraced Storm Spirit in a hug, nearly crushing him under all of his muscles. "Axe loves you."

"I… love you too… Axe…" Storm Spirit said in between gasps, barely able to breathe.

And then, on queue to ruin the moment, the neutral camp respawned.

**The End.**

* * *

Yes, I am fully aware that the ending sucks. I couldn't think of a better way to write it. Sorry.


End file.
